My Night...#4

Empanadas
Boys
The Karate Kid


THE BEST

My favorite TV show....(day 3)

So you're probably wondering how someone with an IQ higher than 65 could possible enjoy a show like Toddlers and Tiaras but this show is so incredibly fabulous,it is impossible not to watch. Have you ever (even though you are a mom) caught yourself staring at some poor mom deal with a screaming toddler in the grocery store thinking to yourself..."thank god that's not me?" This show is kind of like that only times a million.

Why did I pick a picture of one specific girl? Well, you just have to google Mackenzie in Toddlers and Tiaras to fully appreciate this child. She is Satan incarnate and yet incredibly adorable and precocious and (let's be real), simply a product of her insane environment. Plus, Mackenzie says things like..."NiNi (her pacifier) don't know the way home...." and "You people are driving me crazy!" and she's FOUR!

Then there's Arnold. Arnold is a collectible puppet (LIKE A HUGE PUPPET...MUPPET LIKE EVEN) and, get this, he's disabled so he has a wheelchair. And how does this have anything to do with child pageants you ask???? Well, because one of the contestants must bring Arnold to the pageants and Arnold cheers for her and helps her remember her routine and dances (EVEN THOUGH HIS LEGS DON'T WORK!!!) and sometimes he gets the routine WRONG! I don't know how after reading about Arnold, you could not think this show is priceless.

Half of the people on this show are certifiably insane and the other half are just so self-absorbed it's unbelievable. Either way, it's a blast to watch and it doesn't hurt that I (gulp) did a few pageants and made the mistake of telling my other half so now, randomly, he tells me to do "pretty feet" in stores or asks me to do the "pageant walk and turn."

Do you need a laugh? Wednesday night, Total Loser Channel (TLC). Be there.

The person I'm closest to....

Day Number Two....

I am hard-pressed to pick between my sisters so I'm picking both. Corinne Michele is like my soul in a different (taller) body. She keeps me on this earth. My Baby Britty is like my first child...and I'm sure she hates that (who needs two moms?). Despite the age differences between both of my sisters and I...they are how I survive. They are my family. I adore them. And I refuse to pick just one picture because they are BOTH photographers with gorgeous cameras...

My Inspiration....for now....

30 Photos in 30 Days....
Inspired by my sister (and my need for constant, consistent motivation to write), I thought I would attempt this challenge....

Day 01 - A picture of yourself with fifteen facts.


Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been close with for the longest.

Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show.

Day 04 - A picture of your night.

Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory.

Day 06 - A picture of a person you’d love to trade places with for a day.

Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item.

Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh.

Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most.

Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the most messed up things with.

Day 11 - A picture of something you hate.

Day 12 - A picture of something you love.

Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist.

Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without.

Day 15 - A picture that shows your true self.

Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you.

Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently.

Day 18 - A picture of someone who has taught you many of things in life.

Day 19 - A picture of you when you were little.

Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you’d love to travel.

Day 21 - A picture of something you want to do before you die.

Day 22 - A picture that makes you sad.

Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book.

Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change.

Day 25 - A picture of your day.

Day 26 - A picture of someone that means a lot to you.

Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member.

Day 28 - A picture of something you’re afraid of.

Day 29 - A picture that can always make you smile.

Day 30- A picture of someone you miss.

So without further ado.....Day #1



1. (This is scary, but true) I never wanted to be a mom.

2. My children (all 4 of them) have made me the "Melanie" everyone knows (and a better one, at that).

3. I am a food snob. If it was up to me every one of my meals would be cooked by a gourmet chef and the ingredients would be seasonal, organic, sustainable, and prepared perfectly...and there would be 4 courses with wine pairings.

4. I love sports (but only watching or (gasp!) coaching, and it's a good thing because my boys play all year long, three different sports.

5. I love criminal defense, but I don't really want to be an attorney. I like being a paralegal. I like assisting, it is an art.

6. I wish I could borrow my sister's high school teaching certificate.

7. I love singing karaoke and I love acting and on my darkest days I imagine running away to New York and living with roaches and rats and waiting tables, waiting for my big break on the big stage.

8. No matter how many times I said I wanted to be an only child, my sisters are my greatest gift.

9. I don't say this much, but I will say it now, I am so, so, so proud of my boys and how they have grown up so far. I think they are amazing human beings, despite me.

10. Becoming a single mom was incredibly difficult, challenging, crazy, nearly impossible (and still is depending on the day) but I am still here, my boys have a comfortable, stable home and I am doing it.

11. Besides my daughter dying, and giving birth to Brady and hoping he would live, watching my sister's daughter in the NICU was the scariest, most horrible time of my life. And yet, I know that she is so close to my heart for that very reason...maybe that's why she looks like me. ;)

12. I am a horrible housekeeper and organization is not my strong point (in the slightest).

13. I don't work out AT ALL...I don't even take the stairs. I am in horrible shape. I need to change this.

14. I love sleep. I mean REALLY love sleep. Like I could sleep 72 hours straight in a dark room.

15. More than anything I can imagine, I want to make a difference in this world. I mean a real impact. I want people to know exactly what they're going to say when I die. Every single day my biggest fear is that this will not happen.


Okay, I did day number one. Here's to that!!!

I am a phoenix after all....

Rise up from despair and disappointment
like a Phoenix Bird from the ashes,
for a new day has come and, with it,
new opportunities and the prospect
of better tomorrows. --Garcia (art as well)


My last post about my graduation wasn't so uplifting, I know. Maybe I was just in a not so great place...maybe a little shaded by other things and people in my life but the closer I get to walking across a stage to receive my masters degree, the more I realize what I have achieved. I realized today while filling out an application that I got laid off from my job of 7 years...and most of children's lives in July of 2007. A great job...a job I worked for the majority from home and never had to put my kids in daycare (although, arguably...a daycare may have taken better care of them at times) and then I filed for divorce and then I became a single mother of four (three alive, I know) with only unemployment to live on. That was not a very good summer. Seriously.

So I embarked on a new career...I became a paralegal for my best friend from high school's husband. I learned an entirely new world...the world of criminal defense and I fell in love so I waited and waited and I finally got a really low-paying full-time job at the Marion County Public Defender Agency/Juvenile Division in October of 2008. That very same (NOT SANE) month, I began school full time to get my masters. Learning how to work full time in a corporate environment and NOT in a hippie health food store was challenging (to say the least).

And now it's May and it's 2010 and I'm Melanie Harris, M.A. -- I love being a juvenile division paralegal and I need to find a job that pays more than a juvenile division paralegal. Change is bad for me...it's tough...it sucks...BUT I think that the change ahead of me is good. I have more education (and more debt), my kids are growing into really great versions of themselves, and I have become a very different person than I was in July of 2007. I have risen from my proverbial ashes and sometimes, sometimes, (not very often)....I feel as if my tail feathers might be beautiful purples and blues and greens...that I can do anything I want and that life is, or at least will be, grand.

That is me. Full of hope for the future today. I will treasure that because it won't last. And that's okay, too, because that's just me.

school...

Surprisingly enough...I don't feel a bit differently since I've finished my masters studies. Maybe I won't really graduate and that's why...I know that's really not a viable option...I'm not quite sure why I'm stuck on it. I thought for sure that I would have some kind of epiphany...that I would know exactly what I want to do and be. I thought I would have an inherent sense of pride. I don't. I still don't feel that I've done enough.

What is this aching in me that says it's never good enough? Why do I always have to try or be or do one more thing? Am I teaching that overwhelming lesson to my kids?? Dear God, please don't let me teach that to them.

Why is there always a nasty wind at my back that says...move...move...keep moving...it's not enough...it's not enough...

I hope other people don't feel this way. Honestly.

Melanie Taylor Harris, M.A.

Juicy Pear Jelly Bellies...

make me happy.

so do days in my comfy bed.

jodi piccoult makes me happy that i have to have a pencil to read her books just in case i come across a phrase that hits me so hard i gasp.

seeing how my children react to failing or succeeding makes me a bitter happy.

an entire day with just my sisters.

clean houses make me happy.

oh, fireplaces, definitely fireplaces.

KJ and Carter.

DMB.

going to sleep next to my love.

shoes, shoes, shoes.

really, really making a difference.

sewing.

flowers.

the bittersweetness of spring.